Dear Mammy,
How are you? I am fine. I was super excited to hear about Scott learning to ride a bike. I was a little bit disappointed to realise it was only a push bike but I suppose he IS only 12 so he has time.
Since I last wrote, I’ve had probably the most interesting expedition that I’ve ever done, through the Kimberleys. I did think it was funny that one of my highlights of Australia is called Kimberley…
In Broome, I was debating on how to get to Darwin and I’d heard about a 4 wheel drive track called the Gibb River Road. Obviously I wasn’t going to be able to walk it so, having looked into my options I decided to go with a tour group (in spite of my deep seated prejudice against that way of travel, I sucked it up). I decided to go for the 9 day 4 wheel drive expedition through the Kimberley region and up the Gibb River Road. I wont go into all the details because, well, I couldn’t be bothered and anyway you’d die of boredom, so I’ll give you some of the highlights!
On day 1 I really was beginning to wonder if I was suffering from temporary insanity when I booked - I couldn’t get my head around the idea of being told what to do 24/7. I’m glad I stuck it out though, we had a really good group! Well, apart from Crazy Jonnie who (no word of a lie) actually put on his feedback form that we were all lucky he didn’t blow up the bus. Apparently he’s not keen on people having fun… scary!
We did lots of gorge walking and swimming, which was fantastic. Now you know I’m not particularly uh, “outdoorsy” so I was super proud of myself for managing all the walks. The toughest was El Questro which was about a 4 hour scramble. About half the group didn’t make it to the top but I was determined to get there and I did! The only down side was, sitting in the water hole at the top, I actually got nipped on the leg by some random fish that lived in a rock!! No lie. I got the fright of my life!
Speaking of El Questro, that’s where I celebrated my birthday. I went to the pub with some of the guys off the tour and we met the local character Buddy. We’d heard a rumour that he’s in the habit of buying wine if he takes a shine to someone so we had a challenge - who can get the bottle of wine. Of course I won… but it being my birthday I think I had a bit of an unfair advantage if I’m really honest. The record was broken by Clare (the Botox saleslady from Melbourne) who got him to buy her dinner. Game, set and match I believe.
I was super impressed that the guys managed to bake me a cake with only a camping stove, an open fire and some cake mix - and it was Deeeeelicious! The cooking in general was awesome, given what they had to work with, in no small part thanks to Simon and Garfunkel (also known as Simon and Tracey who own a hostel in Cairns and were over in the Kimberleys on holidays).
All in all we had a really good group dynamic which was proven the day the bus wouldn’t start. Picture the scene, Sheila (a mahoosive offroad 4 wheel drive bus) getting pushed by the team. It was all grand until the 8 ton bus started to roll backwards on us. It was ok, nobody got hurt, just splattered in mud. Yum!
The other big memory of the trip was the trio of crazy tour guides who were on “HORRIDAAAAYS!” from Alice Springs. Lead by Tommy (a girl) Juno (a boy) and Claire (Scottish) who had so much energy, the group took on a little bit of their madness, which made for lots of giggles! I did see a liiiiittle more of them (diving from the highest rocks they could find in the nip) than I would ideally have liked but we’ll let them away with that!
Unfortunately because we were on tour just in the build up to the wet season, we couldn’t get into the Bungle Bungles. That was a little bit disappointing but to give him his due, Randal (also known as Randy-pants) did his damndest to get us in, and really didn’t give up until the last minute. Instead we took a trip up to Wyndham to see a crocodile farm. That was AMAZIIING! The owner was the real life honest to God embodyment of Crocodile Dundee. He even spoke like him! He went around feeding the crocs and some of them even tried to attack people through the cages! I thought for a minute Juno was a gonner but he was far enough away to escape. That was funny though because the man said that the croc will always try and go for the smallest member of the group - not this time! Juno was the biggest member of the group by at least a foot! I don’t think I’d like to get that close to a croc again, it was super scary.
Towards the end of the trip we went to Lake Argyle. It’s actually a man made lake but it’s over 80 kilometers long! It started off as a river and most of the lake bed was once a station, but now it provides water for Kununurra and the surrounding area. Apparently it’s estimated that there are over 250,000 freshwater crocs in there so why we decided to swim in there is beyond me. That said, we all survived so there’s no need to worry.
This trip was, in a way, very much about facing my fears. The obvious one is facing my fears of dogs. It was really scary one day in particular when we stopped off for lunch. We were greeted by a dog, wasn’t too bad, about a 6 on the Labrador bouncy scale, but the problem was, when we went into the shop there was another dog so I was trapped. When some moron tried to pet it and it barked I burst into tears - I was SO embarrassed! The team were awesome though, and I honestly had about 10 people on puppy patrol, they were so sweet. I did draw the line at Lake Argyle - the boat owner had a 10 month old staffie - about a 400 on the Labrador scale of bouncy. I nearly lost my life. I was so glad I’d talked to the skipper the evening before (he joined us all for dinner) and told him about my, uh, canine issues - he said he normally takes the dog on the boat - can you imagine?? Crocs in the water, bouncy dog on the boat - trapped much! Luckily he didn’t bring him so I was able to stay on the boat.
My other fear was rock diving (basically leaping off anything high into a deep pool of water. In one spot we had a rope swing - it took me a bit to get the balls to jump but I did in the end. I wasn’t very graceful (at all, in fact!) but I did it! The other big one was Lake Argyle. It’s kind of funny but I really was so scared even at the lowest point. It was as though my brain was saying “ok, let’s go, time to jump” but I physically couldn’t move. I was completely rooted to the spot. We all tried to jump together but when the rest jumped I just stayed stuck. I did manage to get my nerve up and jump (twice HAHA!) but bloody hellfire, it took a few minutes I tell ya!
The other ‘first’ for me was sleeping in a swag. It’s basically a big heavy duty sleeping bag yoke with a mattress inside. You open it up and put your sleeping bag in on top of the mattress. It was unbelievable to be able to sleep staring up at the stars. When it started to rain I did initially join Olivia in one of the tents but after 2 nights in the tent I jumped ship and went over to team swag. It’s quite the experience to sleep in a swag under a tarpaulin in the lashing rain and not get wet - I tell ya, there was no going back to team tent after that, I was a fully fledged member of team swag. Fair enough I didn’t take the 9 day challenge (no shower for 9 days) but I was allowed to stay anyway. To be fair I think I did about 4 days of the no shower challenge before I quit in a moment of weakness. I think it was the smell of my shampoo that did me in.
Supermega kudos to Randy-pants for the best trip ever!
I’m in Darwin at the moment but I’ll write about that in another letter, I think your eyes are probably starting to bleed. My hair is on fire. Just checking… ;o)
Love ya lots, miss ya and will write again soon! Xx
Your Daughter
(the one who ran away)
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